I think I'm in love with my daughter in law

TLDR: I secretly pine for my daughter in law who I'm pretty sure doesn't feel the same while stuck in marriage to my wife because acting on this at all would destroy several marriages in the process.

Names changed for anonymity. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I think I'm in love with my daughter in law. We'll call her Kaylee.

Kaylee and my son, we'll call him John, have been together for a little over 10 years- I met her when she was 22. Fresh out of college and starting her career, Kaylee met my son when he was still in college. Even from the first day I met her, I could see the glint in her eyes, the steely determination. This woman had a life plan that she would execute with surgical precision, bending the universe and the will of others to hers should she need to. Where my son was lost and directionless, fumbling in the dark at college still trying to "find" himself even after a stint in the army, most of it spent overseas, Kaylee was self-possessed and carried herself with the utmost confidence. The way they perform life could NOT be more different.

When I say I hit the daughter in law lottery, I'm not exaggerating, even if you don't take into account that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her. I genuinely don't think my son could have married a more, for lack of a better term, *perfect* woman. She adores the music from the 70s and 80s, saying they were the last decades for "good" music. She enjoys things that are "nerdy", such as Star Trek and Halo and can hold intelligent conversations on a myriad of those types of fandoms, either because she's a part of them herself or because she's read enough about them online to get the gist. Pretty much everything she touches in the kitchen turns to gold- I don't think I've ever had a BAD dish come out of her kitchen. Her baguette in and of itself is TOP NOTCH and the honey butter she makes to go with it is heavenly. She once made baklava with freshly rolled, homemade filo dough and I swear to date its one of the best things I've ever put in my mouth.

Kaylee loves history where the rest of my family couldn't give a damn. I once caught her in the middle of a tirade about how the blurb on the back of a handle of rum was historically inaccurate because of x, y, and z. We went on a family trip a few years ago and were going to pass a major historic site on the way home. The both of us wanted to go while everyone else complained and said they didn't want to. After a few minutes, we just looked at each other, realized we were the ones with all the power since we were driving, and then told everyone else to shut it because we were driving, we wanted to go, so we were going to drive ourselves there and everyone could wait in the cars if they wanted. Watching her with her toddler on her hip walking around the site, whispering into his ear about the history was beautiful. I loved watching her go into intricate detail about the history of the site when it wasn't really needed (he was 18 months old, you know?) and Kaylee knew that what she said was disregarded by most in the group except for me. She just enjoyed sharing the information aloud because she loved history that much. I just watched in awe as Kaylee explained the history as in depth as an 18 month old would allow her to, all the while a sweet, earnest smile on her face.

Kaylee is also just so damn smart. Kaylee worked a full time job, planned a wedding, bought a house, and had a baby while working on her Master's degree. Listening to Kaylee speak eloquently on a littany of subjects is kind of a turn on. Even more of a turn on is when she pulls out the line "I'm not educated enough on this subject to have an opinion". And with that intelligence comes a sophisticated sense of humor. Some people find her to be too dry, but I think she's one of the funniest people I've ever met. It doesn't hurt that she genuinely enjoys and laughs at the bad dad jokes that I tell.

She's thoughtful too, with a maturity and wisdom that has always been beyond her years. Kaylee isn't afraid to come to me and speak to me directly about things that are troubling her, like when she approached me about my daughter's mental health. The love and care she had for my daughter, the carefully chosen words, the gentleness in her voice, made me love her all the more. Her thoughtfulness extends to inside jokes too. I have a running gag with some of my coworkers about armadillos that she gets a kick out of (it has to do with being a professional in our industry, so even though we don't work at the same site or with the same company, she absolutely understands the jokes and can share in them easily) and any time she sees anything armadillo related "in the wild" she buys it for me. The last thing she got was a thrifted little armadillo plushie. I love the shit out of that plushie. And we banter constantly about spicy food- I tease her about how "food shouldn't hurt", and she teases me right back by calling me a wimp and claiming that "pain is pleasure with spicy food". Any time I see a "peculiar" hot sauce, I don't even think about it, it just goes straight in my cart and then home to her. I love seeing her face light up every time I gift her a new hot sauce.

To top it all off, she's drop dead gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, I know my wife won't be as "beautiful" as a woman over 20 years her junior, but even if you compared the both of them at the same ages, my daughter in law SMOKES my wife easily. There is genuinely no true comparison to be had to my wife in her prime and my daughter in law as she is now.

She has these incredible hazel eyes that sparkle almost constantly. Her hair is a mess of wild waves and curls. Her skin is so smooth and soft, with hardly any blemishes. She has a 5 year old and a newly minted one year old, but you wouldn't know it just from looking at her. She's the slimmest I've ever seen her, and even with her being thinner than ever, she still has dynamite curves in all of the right places. Her ass is incredible. Just the right amount for a nice handful or so and more, but not more than a man can handle. She's genuinely a bare faced beauty. She normally wears just a swipe of mascara which is more than plenty, but when she puts on even a little more than that, I'm weak in the knees- especially when she lines the upper and lower lids of her eyes. It gives her this sultry look that I wish was meant for me.

We recently had our first pool day of the season and seeing Kaylee's body in a bikini was nearly too much for me. My heart sped and stopped and then sped, and then stopped again. Pure agony watching her languidly stretch on a pool lounger and then gingerly dip a toe in the pool until, peice by peice, she submerged herself, all to the culmination of a very satisfied, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...." It took everything in me to not take her right there and then in front of God and everyone.

We all see each other about once a week- our family is very close. Because of this, we all have keys to each other's houses- all we ask from each other is at least a five minute heads up in text. Its all very casual.

One day however, I texted Kaylee and John to let them know I was on my way over to drop something off and I was a few minutes out. I let myself in with my key and was greeted with silence. I figured they were probably in the back yard or something until I heard, faintly from upstairs, the creaking of a bed and a female voice shouting, "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, oh fuck, I'm gonna cum!"

For a moment I froze and anger washed over me thinking of my son cheating on Kaylee. Then it dawned on me that that WAS Kaylee upstairs... and at that very moment she released a piercing scream of utter ecstasy, her voice vibrating almost as if in song. What a fucking way to find out your daughter in law is a screamer. I came to my senses and bolted right out the door, locked it, left the stuff on the porch, and then texted the two of them that I just dropped it off and went on my way.

I couldn't have been there for more than 30 seconds, but her screams play on an endless loop in my brain, making it feel like it was hours. For a moment I was proud of my son in a weird way- that was MY son, so virile and skilled. But the pride quickly gave way to jealousy.

Even at our best, my wife and I never were able to draw out such passion from each other- now I was picturing Kaylee in my son's arms, screaming his name, and I was jealous that my son had it so much better than I. What I wouldn't give to be him! Almost immediately my imagination replaced him with myself, Kaylee in MY arms, screaming MY name, my lips on her smooth skin, my hands running all over her body. I wonder if she likes it rough- I bet she does. If I had my chance though, even just once with her, I'd take it slow and savor every moment, teasing and building her up until her toes curl and she shakes in total bliss.

Now don't think I'm totally idealizing her and shrugging off her faults. She is absolutely NOT perfect, and I'll readily acknowledge that. Kaylee talks A LOT, she can be loud and bossy, and she's stubborn as all fuck (just ask her how to pronounce the word "pecan" and she will defend her *very* wrong way of saying it to her last breath). In addition, she's mentally ill and will be for the rest of her life. I've seen Kaylee off of her meds before- it can get downright scary because she turns into someone none of us recognize. But on her meds? She's exactly the woman I've described here and more.

This woman, honestly, my son doesn’t deserve her. John isn't nearly as much the man as I am, physically, mentally, emotionally- for fucks sake, his wife had an emotional breakdown a year or so ago and he barely patched up the holes from it to keep their marriage going.

My daughter in law is a strong, incredible woman who deserves to have someone take care of her, whether she likes it or not. My son is doing a fair to middling job of it, but I know I could do it better. I want to. My body ACHES to take care of her, in every way that matters- emotionally, financially, sexually, etc. My son is, again, an awesome guy, but he isn't the MAN she needs... and he never will be, but he gets to reap the benefits of having her as his wife. Getting to wake up to her every morning, snuggle her on the couch, have those late night conversations that go deeper than regular old "pillow talk". Getting to go to bed with her, hold her, whisper in her ear, make love to her.

I am, unfortunately, forever trapped in a marriage of looking after my wife who, for the most part, couldn't give two shits about what I do overall. She says jump, I sigh and say "How high?" and I just bide my time until the next time I get to see Kaylee again. Its by no means ideal, but its the best I have. I get to see Kaylee again tomorrow. I can't wait.