Too scared to remember

My name is Daniel. I don’t even know where to begin. I just wanted to share my experience. I don’t talk about it with other people. These experiences do not share any symptoms or characteristics of psychosis. I have had extensive evaluation at a psychiatric assessment clinic. I am totally healthy. That’s the scary part.

My earliest experience, as far as I can remember, was when I was about 14 years old.

I remember walking up the stairs to the second floor in my childhood home. It is a big house on a hill overlooking a valley. As soon as I entered the living room I already knew they were there. To my left there were several big windows. I didn’t want to look, I didn’t need to, I was also terrified to look, but I did it anyway.

There it was, ridiculous looking, a flying saucer just hovering outside the windows. It had a bunch of lights in different colors, flashing and spinning around it. It’s so exaggerated that you wouldn’t even put something like this in a cartoon.

My first thought was “they have found me, and there is nowhere to hide.” I felt like prey. I moved slowly backwards towards the wall, looking at my parents and my sister in disgust. They were just standing there frozen, unable to protect themselves or me for that matter. They were pathetic sheep.

It’s terrifying being off planet. There are so many things that I do not understand. Things I’m incapable of understanding. Things I’m too scared to think about.

On two separate occasions I’ve also seen them in some kind of unnatural vehicle, or I don’t even know what to call it, but it has this scary, eerie vibe to it, like it doesn’t really belong there. But on these two occasions human helicopters are actually following, leading the way, transporting or something. I have no idea what they are doing. Those poor people must be terrified. It’s like seeing cute bunnies escorting a lion.

I’ve seen anything from black blimps with animated symbols to massive modular things in the sky.

I live a completely ordinary life with a full-time job, family, and friends. But I have weird premonitions and other things I don’t understand. I have seen the end of the world, which is also terrifying. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Maybe someone can relate or shine a light on a few things.

Thanks for reading my post.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​