When did you stop believing?

It took my grandfather passing away just recently for me to stop believing. I consider myself more spiritual than anything but I guess I was still holding on to a little hope that there was a magical sky daddy out there creating miracles all day. Now don’t get me wrong I had many questions such as why did slavery/holocaust last so long and of course was met with “free will” 🙄 Well my grandfather ended up sick in the hospital in a coma on life support. It wasn’t him passing that made me stop believing it was the fact that my uncle caught a flight as fast as he could, landed, got into the uber and the driver started driving THE WRONG WAY and my uncle missed his last moments with his father by 10-15min. You’re telling me the almighty God couldn’t keep my grandfather alive for an extra 10 min. PLEASE! Maybe I’m just emotional right now but there’s just no way.