gut wrenching feelings

she doesn’t care. i’ve spent blood, sweat, tears, hours, a third of my life and she won’t see it. she sees mediocrity in my art and no effort of value. she’s going to see my work at the show. she’s going to walk past it. she’s going to stop at all the other freshmen’s art. just not mine. because it doesn’t matter if all i wish to draw and use my skills for is her, for she could ask them to do better. she has no reason to keep me around. i have no reason to live.