Life with my narcissistic parents

I F(18) finished school last year and my parents told me I should take a gap year because they can only afford to send me to college next year(2027) and this has made my life a living hell my mother never liked me at all even as a child, she doesn’t know anything about me, she never talks to me unless she wants me to do chores or it’s about my dad or siblings, she’s never even hugged me once when I was 8 maybe I remember going to hug her and she pushed me away violently, she’s never complimented me, never even wished me happy birthday, whenever she buys me clothes they’re usually second hand and nothing I would even wear. She calls me stupid everyday without fail over silly things. I’ve always been closer to my father but now he’s just as bad especially when he comes home drunk and just cusses me out for no reason which is almost daily, they don’t allow me to go out with friends. I tried to go to my cousins house and they refused because there’s no one to stay home with my kids and I feel trapped I can’t go anywhere at all I don’t talk to anyone in this house I just respond to them I see other peoples lives and how close they are with their mums and it just breaks me I’ve never felt more trapped and finding a job is the most difficult thing to do I’ve applied for almost everything my safest bet is waiting till February for uni and never contacting them again cause they’ll pay for my school fees regardless