I am the worst bf ever

Hi, I am labeling this post as NSFW because I am mentioning s_icide topics and such.

I am 17 and my boyfriend is as well and I had some struggles with my boyfriend recently, we were having problems in our relationship and I wasn't treated the best way...afterwards I started losing my patience and I couldn't handle it...well, he was not fulfilling his promises, he was leaving me alone without telling where he goes, once when we were on a call his mother and sister started insulting me and I had to defend myself alone (I got called a loser, mf, broke person, bitch, etc. and he didn't say anything, but it might be because he has autism). So I got "pushed" into a corner and I threatened him I will break up several times if he won't sort his things out but that always ends up by him saying if I do it, he will k_ll himself but I didn't he was so serious.

And then...it happened. Today's night...I told him that I wanna break up because I was tired of where this was going...I was struggling and crying and he wasn't replying so I told him to screw himself and such and I hurt him a lot... I told him that we are done and that there is nothing to talk about. Afterwards he said he wants to commit a s_icide. I told him that it isn't the greatest way of solving problems and I also told him to find himself someone new and said he won't. He literally said in the chat *Yeah no. :3 Because death is easier. Okay?* That hurt a lot and later he left the chat and I was getting more and more worried. I didn't want him to die. So after 40 minutes of his inactivity on his profile I called the police in his area and told them what was going on. I gave them all the information I had and they said they will go there. Not long after I finished the call with the police department, he texted me he made up his mind and that he doesn't wanna do it because he loves me. Afterwards I told him I called the police and I said *Because I still love you and I care about you* to which he responded *You cannot love me if you did that*. Which totally shattered me into pieces and I started crying. He said his mother was gonna beat him and then he started sending me pictures of him choking himself and I was begging him not to do it and then he said *Police... My eyelids are turning more white..I failed... Good bye...* And I started texting him not to do it and after 30 minutes he even left the call...

Now I am worried about where he is...maybe in a juvenile detention center (he went there several times throughout his life) or at a mental hospital (where he went in the past as well - he told me he was locked because of his sexuality). And right now I am so worried I lost him for good...one of the few people I had in my life...that I really liked...he was my best friend and then I asked him out and it was working perfectly fine until it came to this...sometimes I look back and I ask "How could this happen?" because I don't understand how a normal healthy relationship turned into this...