Recent Jax stuff from TADC [EP 9 SPOILERS]

EP9 SPOILERS FROM THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS

Ever since the show came out, I’ve had a very close relationship with Jax. I felt that he’s the one for me, and ever since I’ve been very close to him emotionally. I’ve always seen him as a “boyfriend figure” and I would often get mad and protect him from any haters if I saw any. I would also get sad when people hated him and were telling him to abstract, because it also felt like a personal attack.

Recently in EP9 of TADC, Jax is basically implied or seen as trans. It’s still left for interpretation, but I noticed that mentioning any other theory it just gets you bullied by the community (especially on Twitter). This was devastating news for me, because I’ve seen Jax as a boyfriend figure for so long, like a male figure, and I don’t have any sort of attraction to the opposite gender.

I’ve been crying a lot after finding what people are discussing about (just to note, Jax isn’t fully confirmed on the pronouns so I’ll still use he/him for now) and now it would feel weird to still call him a boyfriend and use he/him when everyone else is doing otherwise.

Just noting here, I am not transphobic whatsoever. I’m also experiencing gender dysphoria, and I have no issue with trans people. My only problem is that I’ve often only found attraction to male characters, and Jax was basically my top 1 character that I would often call a “partner”.

I don’t know what to think of it. I’m afraid to receive any backlash for continuing to use he/him pronouns or interpret the end in another way. Is there an issue with me? What can I do?