WIBTAH for going off at my mother about pocket money?

Last two years I've been a live-in carer for my grandparents both with advanced dementia. It's challenging. I've been searching for jobs, but the market for junior software engineers has been very hard to break into.

I get to stay here for free, and get £120 pocket money a week for all my work - cooking all the meals, doing the washing up, the laundry, chaperoning hospital visits, booking doctors and gardeners and plumbers and such, changing sheets, cleaning the loos, etc.

Last month I got a job! Finally! It's contract work, so I get paid on commission for small tasks - so not consistently. Then two weeks ago I got meningitis and had to be in hospital, then on bed rest. I'm just about back on my feet, but haven't had a paycheque in a month.

This morning when my allowance would normally come through, it didn't. My mother (who has LPA) cancelled it via my grandma's bank because I have a job, now. She's aware I've not been paid in a short while, and have no savings. She used her access to stop the standing order, without so much as mentioning anything. To be clear, I'm still taking care of my grandparents and the household.

My grandparents' is a multi-million pound London townhouse, much like the one my mother also lives in. She's currently on her third holiday week this year. Nobody here (but me) is hurting for money, except that my mother will come down on like a tonne of bricks if I so much as reimburse myself for food shopping or purchase a new duvet using the household card. God forbid have a bit of spending cash for my own.

She's always been exceptionally confrontational about me or my father spending any money whatsoever. I'm just in tears at the moment. It's been the worst couple of weeks - I've been scared for my health, scared about my grandparents' worsening condition, scared of losing my new job (they've been very understanding) - and this is just the cherry on top.

To be fair to her, I know she does have some kind of deep-seated fear about financial instability, not that she's ever experienced it. I know she's also excited to be managing my grandparents' finances, because she has frequently expressed frustration at my father being the breadwinner, and feeling uninvolved. Even if I don't understand it, it's very much real and often at the front of her thoughts.

So WIBTA for wanting to have a strongly worded conversation when she gets back from holiday? I know all told I'm in a very fortunate position, but I do feel real anger and resentment. Help with some perspective, please-