I am angry at my friend for telling me I was self-destructive for wanting to go on a blind date 2 months after my dad randomly died

Last year was easily the worst / hardest year of my life. Emotional abuse, I lost relationships, and suddenly lost my dad with no time to recover or heal.

For context: After my ex ended an emotionally abusive relationship in December of 2024, he continued living with me until May of last year, and his behavior was incredibly toxic and painful for me. In that time, I dated someone new, named Mark.

Mark was not a healthy relationship either and if not treat me well during the three months we were seeing each other yet I did not break up with him like I should have until he broke up with me for someone else.

Early in June (2-3 weeks after my ex moved out and my relationship with Mark ended), my dad randomly and suddenly died and I had to leave town for a month to handle his estate, plan his funeral, etc. He was single and I am an only child and I had to make all of the decisions when I was unprepared and already hurting. I had absolutely no time to heal or process anything during this time. It was a profoundly traumatic experience.

Fast forward:

About 2 months after my dads passing (in August), a coworker offered to set me up on a blind date. I initially said yes and told Ashley about it. I didn’t ask for her opinion, I just mentioned I was excited.

She responded with a lengthy text message that she was concerned I wasn’t in a good headspace to date (which was fair), and then went on to say it was crazy for me to even consider dating, called me self-destructive, and that she didn’t have the patience if I put myself in another bad situation of my own making, and she would distance herself because of her boundaries.

I do understand where she was coming from in some ways and I ended up cancelling the date. I was not ready to date. However, being called self destructive and judged so harshly as I was actively trying to survive trauma and compound grief was one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me. She could have been much more compassionate and kind, but her words were sharp and cruel.

A few months later, I told her I was hurt and she understood and thanked me for telling her. But the thing is - almost a year later, I feel even angrier at her for being so harsh while I tried to find a grain of normalcy during an unbelievably painful time.

I don’t want to tell her anything about my life and don’t really try to include her in my plans anymore. Rationally, I know she just doesn’t understand grief (which is so lucky for her) and is a little bit naive but meant well. But I am still very angry and honestly - I sort of want nothing to do with her anymore.