Just need to vent

I miss u

U actually felt real to me

Your personality I don’t know if it was bland or if I just didn’t know you well enough

But maybe I felt like you were a good listener and you actually heard me

Maybe I’m trying to find any valid reason to miss you even if it’s th bare minimum

I know for you it was just lust I was just a warm body and you didn’t like what you saw I genuinely believe you didn’t like me because I was fat and my body wasn’t I deal but you were already there with me I wonder if it was my body or my face if I wasn’t pretty enough?

I wonder if you lied on the phone when I asked you if you weren’t attracted to me as my voice was trembling and shaking

And you said of course I found you attracted I wouldn’t be talking to you if I wasn’t, you said something like that along those lines

I hold on to those words like an anchor that ways on my chest but yet I still don’t believe them

I wish I knew what it was that you didn’t like about me

The mirror I look into is so distorted I couldn’t tell you what’s real and what’s not

Maybe that’s why I liked you
I hoped you’d be a mirror that I could finally see in

I miss u
Call me…