I think I'm broken...

I (26M) haven't had sex in years for a while, it causes me to masterbate daily and took a toll on my well being. I thought maybe if I just got laid again maybe I would be okay and feel a little better about myself. Unfortunately it was terrible and I feel even worse. Most of my sexy life has been terrible because I could never finish and it left me with blue balls every time. Now I can't get laid and masterbating feels like a chore more than a pleasure. I'm struggling to focus and keep a stable mind set and it has caused me to get into manic episodes. I want to quit masterbating but the urge keeps pulling me in and it's getting harder to fight it. I can even meet new people and experience normal relationships because I get nervous that I will fall back into this toxic lifestyle again. I've tried reaching out for help but I haven't found proper help or treatment for this.

I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, I'm running out of options and ideas so any feedback is better than none at all at this point.