Being an introvert as a kid.

It really fucking sucks sometimes. I only say sometimes because for the first little while, it was great. All I needed was my parents, my sister, and my video games. I only interacted with people at school or distant relatives and still i was very quiet. People were too difficult anyways. Great times. Im so very lucky that my family were my best friends. But sadly, It all changed once I got into high school.

I was 14. First day of high school. Surprisingly, I was not that stressed at all. I think the fact that my sister went to the same hs really helped with the stress factor. Anyways, I went into school that first day thinking "if I just stick to what I have been doing since elementary school, I'll be safe." Looking for safety is what really fucked me up. I spent the whole year staying out of the way as much as possible. Don't speak unless spoken to, avoid places that might put you in social situations, and just stay out of the way. It would get so bad that I would skip school just to avoid classes that involved the slightest bit of social interaction. The year ended off with me being depressed, having only made 1 new acquaintance which was the classic tale of "extrovert adopting an introvert" and slowly losing my elementary friends because I just didnt talk to them or even look at them.

Then grade 10 came. Possibly the worst fucking year of my life so far. My grandma died the summer before this year and coincidentally her funeral landed on the first day of school. I literally just went to homeroom to get my classes and had to cut the first day short to go to her funeral. So that kinda set the mood for the rest of the year. And then, just to add the little sad death cherry on top, my dad died in October. So less than a month after my grandma's funeral. I literally couldn't take it anymore. I dropped out of grade 10 and decided to take it next year. I know it sounds like a loser thing to do, honestly it is. But I literally couldn't fucking take it anymore. And you'd have to understand that with what I went through, especially being an introverted person who didnt have many opportunities for personal growth in his childhood.

So here I am. Turning 16 in a few days. I feel like it's too late to try to make friends and do stupid shit like I should be especially starting from essentially ground zero. But it's whatever I guess. I just wanted to share my story in hopes of it inspiring someone to do better or to see if anyone has any advice for my situation. Feel free to ask my anything. ✌️