Not caring? Am I weird...?

So I don't know how to write this; but here I am...I believe I am trans (mtf) and so have for the last 5ish years; now tho as I think about it I like two very distinct vibes and I don't know if that means anything:

- to this end, what I'm saying is that I like a fashion that I can only really describe as that of a late-Victorian-early-Edwardian man, and if I were a man I would have mid length hair and a large beard; that I think is very masculine.

- on the other hand I also like a more 2000 alt fem look and want long hair and small looking features so that I might and a lot of dresses so that I can feel and look cute. And that I think is very feminine.

Now in theory the second is more true to how I could and would dress and would be the easiest functionality wise but that isn't the question but rather; why did I land on these two and what does it really mean and schizz? And what should I do with myself 😑