TW: SA(??) Does it count as SA?

I (15f) was talking to my sister about a situation that happened to a cousin of mine, something had happened to her in her home and she ended up having something happen to her in her own house, I don’t wanna get into it.

But I was thinking of the things that my cousin used to do to me when I was younger , probably like 6-13, he used to touch me a lot when everyone was asleep.

I used to think it was okay because we’re close in age, he’s like 17 nearing 18 .

As I got older he’d do it when I was sleep and then I’d wake up, I just don’t know if it means anything because I didn’t try to stop him , I didn’t speak or anything I just let it happen and it was always quick .

When we were younger he’d touched my big sister and she told our grandma but she yelled at her saying that it was her fault as she was older ( from what I remember) .

I still be around him and I just don’t speak about her it at all, we just act normal. But I feel uncomfortable if left alone with him or if he’s wearing sweatpants.

I used to scrub my hands a lot if I felt hair that reminded me of him. I just want someone to tell me if it counts or not because I don’t know how to feel .

Sorry if this is hard to read