Girlies I feel so terrible and need advice for how I can make things up to my (22F) husband (57M).

The other night he came home drunk from the bar. He's there every night from 3pm to 1am, sometimes that's a bit hard on me but I know it would be super controlling if I said anything about it. He also needs the emotional support from his boys because being unemployed is really hard on him.

I forgot to tape my eyelids open so I could be awake when he got home and greet him with his daily blowjob. So it was really my fault when he passed out with the door wide open and the stove on. I woke up a bit when the burglars came in but I wasn't wide awake until the house caught on fire. Hubby was still passed out and I'm trying to get more in my divine feminine energy by being submissive to him so I didn't know what to do since he wasn't awake to lead me.

I just sat and demurely stared at the wall while the flames got closer and closer. Just when I was about to pass out from smoke inhalation I felt myself being lifted and carried out of the house. If I had known it was a firefighter and not my hubby I never would have allowed it! 

When I woke up in the hospital hubby refused to speak to me, he wrote on a little notepad that I was a cheating whore for letting the firefighter give me CPR! I know he's right because men are always logical, I'm trying to prove my loyalty by only eating circular foods (anything oblong is too phallic), but what else can I do??

Accidentally cheated on my hubby by letting a firefighter give me CPR