Am I a groomer?

Please be 18+, I’m 19.

- I never sent or received any explicit images of any kind, I never flirted with anyone or made sexual comments/jokes about my friends or anyone, I never got into any romantic or sexual relationships and did not plan to. However I am concerned that I am a groomer.

- When I was 15-17 I had a Discord server and I would make sexual jokes and mention inappropriate topics. I should have made sure I was speaking to peers. This is harmful because even if I was “joking”, I may have normalised these topics and unsafe boundaries towards young people. The fact that they were jokes does not matter to me. I only know the age of one friend who is older than me by 2 years, and I only know that another friend is at least 2 years younger than me now. We were also into a mature anime/game franchise and so mature/inappropriate topics would get bought up. I know groomers expose vulnerable or young people to whatever they’re grooming them for to try and normalise it to them. When I was 18 I stopped making my own jokes but I did not properly enforce boundaries.

- I genuinely believed this one friend was older than me based on stupid reasons, one being since they seemed close to my friend who’s 2 years older than me and RPed together. I don’t exactly remember what they RPed but it made ME uncomfortable and I would make sexual jokes. My friend would’ve been 18 turning 19 in a few days, and me having turned 17 a few days prior when I told them to stop RPing in the server. It really disturbs and concerns me now that I know the truth, but when I gently tried to ask this friend they said they were uncomfortable talking about it so I respect their wishes and I stopped. Since I assumed my younger friend was older than me, I didn’t discourage sexual jokes or innuendos whenever they would talk to me even if I stopped making my own. They would also post suggestive art on their personal account and I would like to support those posts because I was stupid enough to assume that they were an adult now. I encouraged this behaviour to them even if I completely misunderstood. I’ve since unfollowed them and I apologised briefly if I made them uncomfortable.

I accept the truth and own my actions. I want to understand fully what my actions are, and the extent of my harm so I can improve as a person. I don’t want to cause any more of this harm, so I plan to apologise to my friends as I’m still in contact with them, then distancing myself. But they will be able to contact me if they ever want to talk about anything.