12th pass (71%), struggled with anxiety during JEE prep—need advice on my next step

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I just did my 12th (71 % , I will give improvement exam) , I gave jee but wasn't able to clear it, I am trying to get into private colleges but they seem expensive. I was in depression and had anxiety problems while preparing for my jee and I believe that fear of failing was a major problem that I wasn't able to score well (I was a pretty good student till 10th , I scored 96% in 10th).

I am not sure if I should take a drop and prepare again for jee or just get into a private college. Also from the last 2 years , my relationship with my parents is not going well, and hence I don't want to get entirely dependent on them financially, especially when it comes to simple things like buying something that I need but to them it seems useless, so I do want to earn some money on my own, but my parents are too controlling, hence if I would be near them they would never allow me to do such things and would only tell me to focus on studies.

I would say I am quite passionate and want to have a good career. All these things kept coming to my mind during those 2 years and I was worrying about my family a lot, constantly blaming myself for everything and even went through self ha*m. Today I feel that I have came out of those thoughts a lot but my opportunities have gone and I missed them.