My guy friend used to suck my dick when I was younger

\​

When I was 12 or 13 years old, something happened in my apartment complex that i need to confess it here. I feel really bad for my part in it, and I hope writing this brings some peace.

When I was 12 or 13 yo, there was a guy who lived in the same apartment complex as me (let's call him james) He was around my age, and was kind of weird. He wasn't my close friend but we knew each other and played together sometimes.

One day, my another friend who was pretty close to me at that time (let's call him Alex) caught James doing something in the parking area of our apartment where no one came and had no lights in most of the area. He caught James sucking cocks of two younger boys, probably around 8-9 years who lived in our area. He pretended to record a video and caught them red handed, then he immediately ran to tell me this crazy story.

I didn’t believe it at first. I thought Alex was just messing w me. Then he called the two younger boys, and they confirmed it. Even then, I was like, “This can’t be real.” At that age, I didnt even know what gay meant. I just couldn’t understand why James would do something like that.

A few days later, Alex told James that if he sucked his dick too, he won't tell anyone about the incident and will delete the video. Also, he had never recorded any video, he was just scaring him. James agreed out of fear. Alex also called me and wanted to give me proof that incident actually happened, and the three of us went to the same dark parking spot. James told me to show my cock. I thought he was just playing and showed it to him, and then he just started sucking it. I let him do that. He sucked my dick for about 25-30 seconds. It felt good physically, but also my mind was kind of disgusted and shocked.

Then Alex made James suck his cock too. James sucked him for two or three minutes straight, and honestly, James was kind of enjoying it ngl.

Two or three days passed, and Alex called me again to that same place. This time he was watching porn on his phone. He said James would suck us like in the videos and we would have fun. I felt disgusted inside, but I went along with it anyway. James sucked our cocks for nearly an hour that day. Then Alex wanted to do something more and told James to bend over, then he pulled his pants down, and fucked him right there in front of me. I was stunned and James had no problem even with that, he was enjoying it. I knew we had crossed a big line. Alex asked if I wanted to fuck James too, but I just refused as i was really disgusted.

We did this kind of thing two or three more times. Alex started bringing two other guys from our friend circle. They also got their cocks sucked from James. Even at that time, James didn't refuse anyone. He used to suck everyone's cock turn by turn.

After some time, things got worse. Alex began blackmailing James for more than just sex. He made James do his chores like get something from his house, go and get the ball whenever we played. Basically small things like that. James didn’t want to do it anymore, but he was scared. He didn't wanted everyone to know about it. He tried to stop, but Alex and the others kept forcing him and teasing him.

Eventually, Alex told more kids in the area what James had done. The story spread fast. Soon almost every kid knew James as the “cocksucker.” They teased him all the time, saying things like “Come suck my cock too.” James started staying inside his house and stopped coming out to play. I didn't understand at that time but now thinking about all this, i understand why he stopped coming outside. Alex even went to his door sometimes and joked, “What if I tell your mom right now?” James would get terrified.

I only went a few times in the beginning and then stopped, but i don't even know how many times Alex and his friends would have done that. I didn’t stop them from doing it.

Now it’s been 5 or 6 years. I moved to a different place, and I haven’t seen James or talked to Alex since. When I think back, I feel deep guilt. We were just kids and didn’t fully understand how serious it was, but that doesn’t excuse what we did. James was forced, blackmailed, used, and publicly shamed. I wonder how he is doing today. Does he still remember everything? Has he moved on? I really hope he’s okay and living a good life now.