Is it worth it?

So, I'm F42 and started smoking mid 20's and the longest break was maybe a month and a half about ten years ago. So I'm a daily smoker.

In my 20's I used to smoke more but mostly it has been one to three joints at night, usually two. I don't particulary enjoy being high anymore, it's just a huge part of my night time routine and it feels impossible to not smoke.

When I don't have anything to smoke at home, I become so so sad and the nights feel pointless. When I'm traveling I don't even miss weed but at home, it feels like mandatory to smoke.

I just can't handle the thought of not smoking at night. The big sadness.

Will it eventually go away if I stop?

What's the point of stopping?

Will my life be somehow different if I stop smoking the nightly one or two joints?

I'm kinda curious of how I would feel, are there any long term improvements if I stop completely?

I understand there's no point in smoking if I don't even enjoy being high, so it's an addiction and I understand that.

It just feels so impossible to stop.

Edit. And I HATE the dreams I have when I don't smoke. I wan't my anxious brain to leave me alone when I sleep.