Eating disorder and laparoscopy

Tw: restrictive behaviour talk, no mention of numbers

I've been thinking of talking to my GP but I have my lap coming in August and I'm scared having this on my records could delay it.

I've been dealing with disordered eating all my life (mid 20s) but I've never been underweight so it's never been seen to medically. I gained a lot of weight on hormonal contraception and it's made me miserable, I'd tried all sorts of diet changes since last year and couldn't get the weight to budge, now I've gone into full on controlled restriction and lost a considerable amount of weight, still not enough to put my BMI in the green zone (I know BMI is bullshit but I can't stop the brain worms) but because it's working I don't want to stop.

Honestly since restricting my endo has flared less, I guess since there's less digestive triggers.

I also feel like shit all the time but my life doesn't demand a lot of physical energy to put it simply.

I take vitamins and probiotics and try to vary food every so often so I don't get malnourished.

I had a different surgery at the beginning of this year and ate normalish for the first couple months of recovery and I'd hope to do that after my lap so at least I'm not doing something dumb and have some chance at healing.

But with the stage I'm at right now, I lose interest in food not long after eating since my stomach has shrunk and if I eat too big a meal I get stomach pains

Has anyone else dealt with this? I feel so conflicted. I just want to be back to how my body was, but I desperately need this surgery. I'm trying to tell myself that extra food will be put towards energy for healing after lap so I'm not scared of putting the weight back on