I swear I can hear you!

If you are this close why are you hiding? What are you afraid of? Healing? Feelings? Closure? Realizing we want the same thing. Just really broken from others damages trying to cope self medicate ejaculate needing love, trust bur afraid to ask. We're the same but different. It hurts so much because we love so much.

I slept everywhere we didand scoured the street, tunnels, back alleys, adult stores. The hotel where your friend rests. Cemeteries. I've screamed your name at the top of my lungs from the parking garage downtown. The storage unit. Your grand mother's. Literally every park in this city, and the hot spring named one way out ya everywhere. Wrote i want %&@? On everything hoping you'd see it and know i was looking and thinking and missing and loving you!. Can't wait for the chance to tell you how wrong and twisted and evil I was to you and hope you would hear me and wanna try again. Learning, growing, living, loving together.

I did everything I could for over an hour distracting the pigs to give you the chance to get out the disco hotbox to the gazebo safe zone.

I dont understand why you didn't run....? Unless you didn't want to. And I get that.

I was tortured by a monster for 15 years. Tried to kill me and my child was removed. Im so fucked up mentally. My words reflected my confusion, anger, hurt. Only you weren't the target just someone trying to love me and heal me. And like a vicious scared beaten dog I attacked my person and ive been euthanized.

My thoughts prayers hopes. the treasures ive found to replace what was lost as a sentiment of us. Lost treasure found..... i fucking talk about you everyday. The kid at udal hung out with me for a week! Ask him if he's tired if hearing me talk about you.

We both had it wrong.

I love you not like you. I will! No matter!

I wanna kiss my cousin again.

Share something tasty with you!

But hey your life's good now. nothing changed here. Still homeless. Empty. Alone. Just like when we met. Guessed you dodged a bullet, would you redirect it in this direction so I stand in front of it. There's nothing left here