My daycare won’t cap my toddlers nap anymore and sleep is falling apart

I honestly don’t know if this is a rant.

My toddler 21 months, has lower sleep needs. Always has.

Around 17 months, his sleep needs dropped drastically. We knew cuz he started having horrible split nights, refusing the crib, being restless for long stretches at night.

I eventually asked his daycare teacher if she could cap his nap. She low key agreed (although it goes against rules) as she seems to be really bonded with my son, so I guess she made an exception.

Capping his nap to 75 minutes and getting him up earlier fixed his split night almost instantly.

We were doing wake 6:30, nap 12:45-2, bed 8:30.

It was beautiful. My son consistently slept through for weeks. He’d wake up naturally happy as a clam. We all felt so rested.

Then he switched classes and his new teacher is an older jaded daycare worker. Refuses to make any special accommodation for his nap.

His nights have absolutely gone to crap.

The daycare teacher insists he must need the nap cuz he takes the full two hours. But it’s only cuz he sleeps so poorly at night. It’s a vicious cycle.

He will have brutal split nights. Refuse to be put in the crib. He hates being in there awake/restless and alone. We’ve end up bringing him to our guest bed to lay with one of us. We don’t interact with him. He rolls around, kicks us, until he eventually falls asleep again.

I’ve been tracking his sleep and he’s averaging about 11 hours of sleep. So his needs have even gone down a little.

If we have no choice but to have a 2h nap, I figure we can do a 9 hour night (like 9pm-6am) and he’d sleep through.

The problem is he’s so tired from his broken night, if I try forcing him up at 6am, he is hysterical upset. And he will literally fall asleep by mid morning or during lunch at daycare. So they’ll put him down even earlier and let him nap 3 hours!!

This weekend, we tried to cap his nap at 1h, but he was still so tired from the broken night, he couldn’t make it to a 9pm bedtime. He literally fell asleep around 8pm and we couldn’t wake him.

My husband and I are taking shifts like in the newborn days.

I just can’t believe daycares don’t offer at least 2-3 standardized nap schedules. I’m not saying each kid should have their own specific schedule…that would be a lot to keep track of.

IMO they should offer a 2h, 1h, and 30 min nap. They put them all down at the same time so it’s easy for the teacher. But get them up accordingly.

It is absolutely insane to put parents through this. My son is also way more cranky and tantrum prone because his sleep is so fragmented and our entire schedule is thrown off.

What would you do in my shoes? I live in Canada (Quebec).