Another fkin job rejection

Hate talking to people about my feelings so just gunna dump this here. I’m so so tired of being unemployed. I’ve spent a lot of time freelancing and I was doing pretty good so I just went with the flow. I never really liked having a 9-5 or a part time job for some reason, I enjoyed making money on my own accord.

But I’m older now and still living at home and I just feel so behind and like I’m missing something. All these years living and nothing really to show for it. I have enough experience like my resume is not short by any means. For the last 3 months, I’ve applied to job after job and it’s just rejection after rejection. I can’t even get a job at the fkin Salvation Army thrift store and it’s just so discouraging.

Being mentally ill also doesn’t help, all I do is beat myself up and tell myself I’m not much of a daughter to be proud of. And genuinely all I want is my mom to be proud and I just want to give her everything she would ever want or need and I’m not even close to being able to do that. I feel like there’s so much time in the world and I’m truly just wasting it.