I feel like I’m falling behind my friends, even though I’m happy for them

I’m looking for advice on how to deal with a feeling I’m not proud of.

I’m happy for my friends when they succeed. I celebrate their wins. I genuinely want good things for them. But there is always a small part of me that feels jealous, or sad, because I feel like I’m not moving forward at the same pace as the people around me.

A few years ago, when I was 25, I went back to school to study web development. I did the program with two of my friends. We had similar grades, worked on the same projects, helped each other, and were basically at the same level during the program.

After we finished, things went differently for each of us.

One of my friends found a good government job pretty quickly. He says himself that he got lucky, but he also works hard and deserves it. He now has a stable job and a very good salary.

My other friend also found a solid job in a company where he seems to be moving up fast. He is gaining experience, getting better opportunities, and building his career at a good pace.

For me, it took about a year and a half after school to find a job. The job I found is related to the web field, but it is more marketing than web development. I’m grateful to have work, and I have learned a lot, but my salary is below average for what I hoped to make after going back to school.

I’ve been sending resumes and applying to different jobs, but I’m not getting the interviews I expected. Internally, there is not really any room for promotion because the higher positions are already filled.

On top of that, I compare my life situation to my friends’ situations. Most of them are in relationships where both people work full-time. They can save money together, think about buying a house, travel, and build financial stability as a couple.

My girlfriend recently went back to school too. She is starting a three-year bachelor’s degree in animation. I’m proud of her, and I support her. But because she won’t be able to work much during her studies, a lot of the money I make over the next few years will go toward helping us get through that period.

I don’t resent her for that. I want to help her. But it does add to this feeling that everyone around me is moving forward while I’m stuck trying to catch up.

I know comparison is unhealthy. I know everyone has a different path. I know my friends’ success doesn’t take anything away from me. But emotionally, it still affects me.

I guess I’m asking how to deal with this feeling in a healthy way.

How do you stay happy for the people around you while also feeling disappointed about your own progress?

How do you stop feeling behind when your life is moving slower than you expected?

And how do you keep going when you feel like you made the right choices, worked hard, but still ended up behind people who started at the same place as you?