AITA if I tell my GF how I feel

Made this account just for advice, don’t know who to talk to about this.

I (21F) am in a “long” distance relationship with my partner (22F), long in quotes because she lives a few minutes away but my parents don’t approve so I only see her a few times a year. Our relationship is mostly over the phone, long calls and video calls and texts.

A bit of background, weve been together for 3 years now, and it’s been really good with a lot of moments where it hasnt. There have been a lot of uncomfortable moments where she’s done stuff like talked to someone else with the intention of meeting up with them and, as she says, “chickened out” so she didn’t (this was one time near the beginning of our relationship) (she told me immediately and i forgave her because nothing really happened but from that moment on Ive never felt like enough) and has talked about wanting to add people to our relationship maybe in the future once i’m comfortable and if I’m not then we don’t need to (she’s poly and I don’t think I am, we made this super clear at the beginning), and she’s always respected my feelings on this and always reassured that I come first and we don’t need to add anyone, but then she keeps bringing it up and then has to keep reassuring me that way.

Whats going on now is the fact that, during our 3 years relationship ive tried to help her fix her sleep schedule. When we first started talking I’d make myself stay up super late, think 3-4am, just to talk to her, and she’d always go to bed around 5am and wake up at 5pm, so I started trying to help her go to bed earlier and get her circadian rhythm in order. It hasn’t been easy. She’s depressed, which is why she was sleeping that way, and I feel like she’s just been content to sit in it. I started by trying to help her sleep earlier, telling her to wind down and drink something warm, no caffeine at night, nothing super stimulating, things like that, and it worked for a good few months before she would go back, like a one step forward two steps back kind of thing. Whenever it happened I would always just be there for her, ive always told her to do whatever she wants because i don’t like telling her what to do, so she’s always just done this of her own accord, i think at least?

Time skip to probably 2 months ago, she started going back again so I asked if she could just try a little harder, for me (this is important, she never does anything “for me”, even something as simple as drinking water) and she promised she would, she pinky promised. Two days later she went back on her promise and even lied to me about when she slept, and admitted that she wouldn’t have told me she lied if I hadn’t woken up to check on her. She’s never lied to me before, not that I know of, so to lie over something as small as when she goes to sleep really shocked me. She told me she didn’t want to try anymore, try as in trying to fix her sleep schedule, so I said ok, do whatever you want. I think I always end of telling her to do whatever she wants just because I don’t want something ive told her to do to make her upset.

So back to now, what I need advice on. I’m starting to stay up late again just to talk to her, and it’s really affecting my sleep since i already naturally wake up early, and I’m kind of upset that i’m the only one putting effort into the relationship? We already only talk when she wakes up late, and a lot of times she’ll be upset about something and not really talk much, so the only time we actually get to talk is when I stay up late.

And a lot of times the only way I feel I can get her attention is if I flaunt my body, because she’s hyper sexual and is always thinking that way, so a lot of times our serious talks devolve into that and I feel like we never reach an actual conclusion that isn’t her wanting to get into my pants?

And I try not too cause too much of a problem with what I’m upset about, I know she has a lot going on and her depression seriously affects her, but I’m starting to feel like that isn’t an excuse anymore.

AITA if I tell her I’m tired of being the only one putting effort in to talk or even be with each other? That I’m tired of everything being only sexual between us, that the only effort I feel like she actually puts in is in her sexual fantasies between us?

(Sorry this is all over the place, a lot of the stuff I get upset about I easily forgive her for, I’m afraid to lose her if I cause too many problems)