I'm not sure if this is a byproduct of narcissism

Has anyone else here realized they don't feel truly seen, like ever, even when their partner is showing affection?

I have had other people's attention and it would "sink in" and feel nice, like they were genuinely excited to get to spend time with me, so I feel like I have something to compare this to for reference, and yet I have a difficult time finding words for the strange disconnect that I feel even when I am with my significant other.

I understand that a space like this invites confirmation bias, so I will take replies with a grain of salt, but I am just curious to see if anyone has had a similar feeling in a relationship with a narcissist and whether they might have the words to describe the disconnect.

To illustrate what I mean: The other day I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers and was told nice things but I had this strange feeling that the flowers were being used to manage me, because we haven't done anything together for months and I am expected to continue to not-complain ever because he is always much too stressed and I should know that blah blah blah until the end of time. Our lives are lived on his terms and it is up to me to call his bluff and leave if I am that unhappy--but absolutely no changes from him in the interim.

The flowers felt more like he was congratulating himself for being such a thoughtful guy and I was supposed to be mollified, and to not be mollified is to victimize him.

This plays out in innumerable ways and has been the pattern for years. I am reminded over and over if I have a problem, I better not bring it forward if I want to avoid a giant blowout where my needs are an attack and he gets to use whatever emotional weaponry he needs to defend himself. The outcome is more loneliness, and a feeling that you are turning into a ghost.