why me?

using a throwaway account
ever since i was bron, i have been abused either sexually, emotionally or physically.

started when i was an infant (prolly idk). the first memory of my father is him htting me.
the only person i was loved by was my mom.
she caught my father abusing me. and then took me to her maternal house. she was fairly educated, so got a job as a clerk. family's a lot patriarchal but she still took on the job. she usually came back late night, around 8ish. i used to comeback from school early and sometimes never used to go school (this was dilemma for me) because at school, i got bullied over my stuttering and at home my aunt used to abuse me. i never told it to my mom. and the worst, was that my mom died in accident when i was 11.
i even tried to take the extreme, but failed.
my father, the person who abused me in my infanthood took me to his paternal house. but by mercy of god, i wasn't further sexually abused (atleast by my father).
both my father, and uncle used to go on work out of the city/state, and i was alone at my house with my grandmother and paternal aunt. had to endure long physical labour, and taunts. idk how i survived that. ig during this aunt tried to make some move ( i am still unsure, if it was my past horrors i had endured with my maternal aunt catching me up to me or not)
typing this, races my heart but i just really want to vent out
during my time at my paternal house, i studied my best even with all the physical work/taunts, and got into a decent college for engineering. i don't know how but my father agreed to pay for my fees, prolly because i am the only child of his.
currently, working in tech and making a decent amount. during this time i met a girl, and i thought she was the love of my life. went on dates, had a lot of fun and used to like each other.
few days ago, i tried to open up with her about my childhood trauma because i didn't want her to unaware of my past incase we get super-duper serious (marriage and shi). but that was another bad thing i did (other than being born obviously)
got to know, men can't face abuse, and should have stood up especially against my aunt coz she's a woman. and i am now less of a man in her eyes. she cannot be with me.

i have no friends outside my professional life. had some during college time, but i don't contact them routinely and they don't know about my trauma.
so dumping here.