Big Easy Never Warned Me: Part Duex

You may all remember saga a few months of the lack of car napkins. To date, no Big Easy car napkins have been received by me. As a reminder, Big Easy made me thin so now I rarely go to fast food so I have no car napkins. I have to blow my nose on my shirt or buy tissues like the upper crust of society.

On to my next challenge. As we enter summer, many of us have lost a lot of weight thanks to Big Easy. That's great and all, but it has created a risk we must know about.

Per Team Dave, I was cannonball champ in five counties. I could clear a pool with one jump and the crowd went wild. I also could enter the water and literally expend no energy to stay afloat. Like perfectly still and I bobbed around like a buoy. Go under water took energy, but floating I could probably take a nap standing up.

After Big Easy took over my life, I have lost weight. That's all fine and dandy but there are risks.....yesterday I jumped in the pool and several things happened:

1. No cheering of the crowd as my splash was average, at best. This is devastating.

2. I actually had to TREAD WATER! I don't float as easy anymore because, well, Big Easy stole my body fat.

I have asked for some Big Easy Arm Floaties but have yet to hear back.

What else do you feel Big Easy should provide us newly thin. I am building a list to present our demands. I need your input.

1. Car Napkins

2. Arm Floaties

3. ?