I feel so stuck

The thing about life is I try to climb and achieve but fall back on square one.

I got hidradenitis sup since 16.

Years of parental abuse depleted my nervous system.

A mother who smirks when I get sick.

A father who smiles at suicidal pain and watched me suffer through his abuse for years and never cared.

I got 0 help through all of this. Several years ago, at 25 or 26, I found out about neurodivergence. Never in my life had I known why I was so different up until that point. And this year the term 2e and overexcitabililties.

But I feel like the damage is done, cause I got cptsd due to parents and freeze up whenever I have to speak to someone.

I cannot find a job and my mind feels so scattered into thousands of shattered glass pieces because of being alert 24/7.

This whole thing feels like an absurd joke.