I am crazy. I was mean. You were crazy you were not mean

it’s honestly I don’t hav a “Nk”name for you…I see your pain… I am sad did say a lot of mean shit back then when we were together and I am SORRY. No joke. no sarcasm. I did fall in love with you overtime and it was REAL. I wish i met you before anyone else too and it started with us. I will leave you alone, i was never after you. just hurt like you I guess. hah. I respect your friends defending you. it’s fine I appreciate the reality check. sorrt for doing worse after.. crazy yes but I wish you didn’t leave me wondering because In thay last week I just wanted to talk about it and where you stood but you told me straight up and I literally couldn’t believe it but I do it’s okay. but you’re safe. Watching all this unfold the past 3-4 months I was too naive to see. I’m not a bad person just damaged but aghh you helped me see that. SERUOUSLY. ughhhhhh just understand I wouldn’t of done what I done to make it worse if I wasn’t in the dark I wasn’t lying in the end and you know that that’s why I reacted ok? ugh I honestly wanted this my whole life and ..you seemed like you got scared because maybe .. you already got a lot going on and this would make it worse right? …. I wanna call but can’t I’m beyond scared and it’s my fault not yours i should of be patient ok? I just wanted to hear you say “I wanna keep it“ idk. I messed up. I hope youre ok, I am ok ok? we are ok As strangers I don’t want that I don’t but I can’t take back what I did in the end I am not ever going to inflict emotional pain on you I honestly wasn’t aware of my actions seriously seriously. and once I do I try to act tough. I am not tough. I did need you! I stay off my phone more find hobbies and find a good career. I hope to have a family in my future. i hope this is the right choice. I think fate was sealed when I disregarded your family. seriously I can’t read between lines but now I do. sorry. sorry. sorry, I wish I could take more accountability. I get it. This isn’t a sign for you to reach out I just wish things ended differently. Sorry. Yea I was in your orbit but it was too late. I awoke when you left. seriously that’s what happened. I love you forever. Forever