Balancing personal style and dysphoria

I’m having a hard time balancing my personal style and gender dysphoria. I’m really attracted to things like pastel colors, cute things, lolita fashion, etc. which is tough as a trans man. I don’t really know why I like these things while being ftm. This stuff and wearing “feminine” clothing makes me happy, but it also causes me dysphoria sometimes. I’m in the process of getting on T, but I love having long hair and I don’t want surgery. I’m not sure what to do about this. I don’t want to give up my personal self-expression, but I also don’t want to feel dysphoric. I’m not comfortable with myself the way I am and it sucks.