I can't stop getting sick with stupid things and I'm breaking down

I feel insane. I felt like yesterday was my full mental breakdown day and I just need to type this all out.

I'm so diligent about my health. I see my primary care doc every 6 months, never assume an issue will just "go away," advocate for myself. I had great healthcare with my company up until I lost my job in August 2025. Moved over to an HMO because $$ and I was a fool and I lost all my doctors and the timing couldn't have been worse.

December 2025

- I have a chin implant, which starts acting up. Not hurting, per say, but I'm aware of it? Uncomfortable and gets increasingly more noticeable.

- I start getting recurring yeast infections / itching / burning.

- My tooth starts being sensitive to heat. Weird.

January - Feb 2026

- Get the chin implant checked out with original surgeon. "Nothing's wrong." Get a referral for an orthopedic surgeon to take special x-rays. "Nothing's wrong." OK GOOD BUT WHY THEN. Go to dissolve the filler that I had gotten on top of my implant. Relief! For now.

- Start my new OBGYN. I think that my yeast infections might be syncing up with my period? So I start a new birth control that eliminates my period.

- I go to a new dentist to get my tooth checked out. Something's wrong, but also nothing is wrong? They're confused. She mentions that I grind my teeth, something my old dentist, who I loved, never said. I start thinking about it, and then start subconsciously grinding my teeth.

- I start getting joint pain in my knees, elbows, wrists, lower back. I've had minor joint pain before but it's really happening now. I do pilates and it's most noticeable after those sessions. Pilates is my release and the one form of exercise I've ever been able to maintain, I need to get this fixed. My new primary care doctor is unconcerned to say the least. After some back and forth, he orders some x-rays, which becomes a months long battle with insurance saying I don't need them.

March 2026

- I'm not having the itching or yeast infections. Yay! BUT - my new birth control is way more particular than my old BC about taking it at the same time and not skipping on accident. I get my period for TWO. MONTHS. I am prescribed a massive dose of progesterone to stop it.

April 2026

- Finally get xrays and blood work for arthritis - all normal. Doctor tells me to take motrin before doing anything. LOL.

- I start breaking out in acne on my butt. I want to wear a swimsuit. It's so stupid.

- I buy an infrared sauna blanket because it's supposed to help with joint pain and also your girl loves a sauna. I love it.

May 2026

- Call my doctor back and demand a referral for an orthopedist. Waiting for that.

- I have a massive outbreak of itching and redness and yeast infection. WTF. By some miracle I realize that we had been using Kirkland toilet paper, switched over right when I switched BC because we had ran out, and then switched back that week. I'M ALLERGIC TO COSTCO TOILET PAPER. And apparently so are many many many women.

- I swap back to regular toilet paper and the major symptoms go away. However, the skin on my vulva and the inside of my labia starts ripping. If I move it to try and look at what's happening, I basically get a paper cut. I also start getting little white dots on my labia. I'm convinced the my HPV has crawled outside of my cervix and created herpes. I don't know how things work.

- I start washing with hibcleans and it seems to fix the butt acne, yay.

- I start getting red marks (not burns, they go away) from the sauna blanket. I reach out to customer service and they recommended wearing light cotton clothing. I do, and break out in a horrible rash / acne across my chest. It does not go away.

-At this point in time, I'm working a really intense job. I'm a freelancer since losing my job, and basically wreck myself for a month on a gig that pays really well every few months, and then I get to take a month off. But I'm absolutely glued to my desk and can't make doctor appointments. So my follow up OBGYN is booked for start of June.

- Is my chin hurting again? I'm feeling it. Maybe I need to do another round of dissolving filler.

- LAST WEEK OF WORK, ON THE BUSIEST DAY POSSIBLE. I wake up. I have a cartilage piercing that has never fully healed after it got booped early on during a haircut. I'm super diligent about not sleeping on it and saline spray. Today, hair gets caught in it. My ear blows up. It's red, it's puffy and TBD looks like my boyfriends. I ice it, I take ibuprofen, I sleep. I wake up the next day, it's bigger. I have to got to urgent care. I get a round of doxy. I finish the week of antibiotics, and there's no change.

June 2026

- Ear: I go to a new urgent care, get a new antibiotic and it seems like it's doing some work. I'm 3 days into it right now, I got excited that it was healing and laid on it for a little bit, and it's blown up again today.

- My right foot starts hurting when I walk barefoot.

- Trying to get a night guard for the teeth grinding, which is my nightmare because I've tried a retainer in my youth and I drool a lot and can't sleep with anything in my mouth, but my whole mouth hurts and I need to try it.

- I make it to the OBGYN and she's like OMG. Apparently, if you have a histamine reaction down there, it can last for months even if you remove the source. I now have multiple creams that I apply multiple times a day. We're supposed to go to Italy in a week and a half. I told her if I can't have sex in Italy I will PERISH. She said I will be able to. I'm terrified to have sex.

- Mental health moment - my cat gets diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.

- The chest rash is just barely starting to be gone after I started smothering it in antihistamines.

- My tooth still hurts, I just deal with it.

- Yesterday, I wake up, my chin hurts. We're supposed to go to a birthday party, and by the time we get there it HURTS. I haven't been around a group of people in a month because of work. I grin and bear it for about an hour and a half, tell my boyfriend we need to ghost, and break down sobbing in the car. One thing starts to maybe get fixed and another thing pops up. I cry all day. I have to cancel plans to go to San Diego to see his parents because I'm in anxiety attack mode. He has been AMAZINGLY SUPPORTIVE through this whole thing - he has canceled plans and left events to be with me, gone out of his way to do anything I needed support with, and this was the one thing that he was really really excited about and would mean so much to him, and I could see how much that broke him, and it absolutely wrecked me.

Anyways - that's where I'm at. I'm tired and sad and stressed and it's like, none of these things are cancer but it just won't stop and I'm also feeling resentment because so many of these things are results of something I've done to myself (piercing / implant / sauna blanket) but also everyone gets piercings and people do these things and are fine so wtf. I'm the upbeat chipper friend and things usually roll off me but I can't. I've had to cancel pilates a million times because of these things so I feel like a slug. I just want to be happy and healthy for our Italy trip this month and I'm not seeing how I can be at this point. If you read this far wow, love you xoxoxo

Dinner (or leftover dinner for breakfast) - Sakara salad (trying to put anything good in my body) and saltines (helps with antibiotics). And a cat who wants both.

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