Sourdough toast, avocado, fried egg, salsa macha 

I first want to preface this that I’m not ungrateful for what she’s done to support me, however, our relationship has been strained for years by her inability to take responsibility for herself. 

My mom is a single mom and has been on disability for most of my life, which she blames on doctors not treating her underlying conditions and being gaslit by her parents/my grandparents - which does have some merit in that the doctors just shoved her full of pills and my grandparents didn’t understand what she was going through. My grandparents actually tried to support me as best as possible because my mom was basically absent for years mentally or even suicidal. She thinks that they basically brainwashed me into thinking she was crazier than she was but although I was kid and still witnessed it all and she was, in fact, bananas. My grandparents also supported her a lot but she basically still thinks they’re evil. She thinks my childhood was all flowers and roses because she was the best mom ever (not).

She eventually got her shit together, got healthier and worked for steadily about 10+ years until her industry imploded and her health got worse.

My grandparents, who are on a limited budget as well, eventually moved away and over the past years since that happened, I’ve paid for her car to not get repossessed, paid her insurance, bought her groceries, helped with other bills and bounced checks and had to financially manage her due to her irresponsible management of her own limited finances. I’m an only-child and I’m exhausted, besties.

She’s not at retirement age for another eight years and has been looking for part time work, thankfully. It’s been hard because of her disabilities and the job marketing being hot garbage. Last jobs she worked caused her to have a full blown mental breakdown where she thought she could commune with spirits. 

I don’t want this to be the rest of my life. 😭

Taking care of my mom is exhausting