Just empty

(This is a long post. it's venting, wanting support and few questions at the end)

I am (25f) and live in the middle east and in the bad countries there not the rich ones. I have a job but my salary is 200$ so.

However, not even that is the problem, right now I feel empty and lonely, so lonely. I don't have a support system nor friends. I do though live with my family but they are toxic and drain the life out from me.

I barely have social skills since I had been struggling with social anxiety since I was like 4 and then got depression at 14 and became even more isolated. I never made friends growing up, never! It's very comical how alone I actually am. I never even made online friends. I just exist somehow.

And that is making me feel bad, I tried making friends in college, I made a few. Now I am in contact with only one. The others, no. I try to reach out but they don't reach out to me.

And at my age, they are either already married and having kids or starting businesses and stuff. But here I am, barely doing anything in my life and alone. I feel sometimes if only I have some support I can do better, I can find a reason to advance in life or try to do something different. But when I am with myself, I just think "is this it? Then what's the point of it? Either way I'll be by myself, so why do anything?"

Mind you since I had depression I never thought about the future. It didn't exist to me. Which I think many people with depression would understand, somehow there is no future, just past and present and neither are pleasant. Life becomes about trying to cope not live. What keeps me safe? Not how to do or be better.

If someone has went through something similar, what did you do?

Or how do I get a community or a support group? People I can be open with they hear me and I hear them?

How can I find meaning in everday life, when it's all the same?

How can I feel full, when I feel so hollow and don't know myself even though I am 25?