AITAH for going quiet around friends when my boyfriend ignores me?

This situation has layers that I will do my best to explain. My boyfriend (M21) and I (M22) have been long distance for 3 months now, dating for 8 months total. Since college ended, it's been hard to see each other in person because we live 2 hours apart. We often will play games online together throughout the week, usually with our friends.

Something causing problems is how he makes me feel in these hangouts and how I make him feel with my reaction. From my perspective, it's hurtful how invisible he makes me feel. We have never been the type of couple to be affectionate in front of others, but I'd love to feel apart of the group. My boyfriend does this thing a lot where he asks a question to our one friend only instead of the entire group. Where I might say "what do you guys think of the new character?" my boyfriend will say "hey (friend), what do you think of the new character?" If it happened a few times I might be able to handle it, but he does this dozens of times or only acknowledging what our friend is doing, and it hurts. It feels like I am a third wheel to two people's conversation.

In these moments, I'll tend to stop talking, because nothing I say gets any reaction out of my boyfriend, he doesn't answer any of my questions or engage with things I say, only our friends. I still talk if people talk to me but I become very quiet. My boyfriend does not like this, often telling me after that he is sad about me acting that way. I try telling him that I feel ignored but all he says is "I don't think I do that, I feel happy with how I talk to you." Knowing my boyfriend gets sad, I do try really hard to stay happy and engaged no matter what, but almost every time I end up feeling my words don't matter and why even talk anymore? One time I kept myself upbeat for a two-week period, and at no point did his engagement with me improve so I felt really defeated after.

AITAH for tending to quiet up after feeling ignored, and AITAH for my expectations?