Cognitive disability

I believe what I have is aphasia, I havent been to a neurologist. My mental processes are out of wack. Nuerologically, such as thinking, speaking and listening. I get my words out of order and I listen to others and can't comprehend what they're saying due to confusion. This brings hell to my workplace because everybody can't stand me. I get micromanaged and I believe Ive been assigned the scapegoat role. I cant work jobs, they stress me out and I feel rejected and I quit. I know this is depressing when I say this but this is the truth: Im not meant to survive and I hate to say it but this ultimately feels like a curse and Im looking at God/Jesus because of my conditions. Right now, I've been scheduled 3 hours a day for 7 days and that just takes up my gas money.