Found the method

Wake up feeling okay
Shower uncomfortably
Eat something
Go out into society
Realize no one will ever love you
Think about killing yourself
Don’t kill yourself
Retreat into solitude
Stay up all night scrolling reels
Jerk off in the dark under the covers with your eyes closed
Watch the sun rise (don’t kill yourself)
Go to work
Eat nothing
Gym for 6 hours
Shower in the dark (don’t kill yourself)
Eat everything
Pass the fuck out
Repeat (don’t kill yourself)