How Many Board Members Have to Walk Away Before Things Change?

Hypothetically speaking, has anyone ever watched someone build an entire identity around being admired, praised, and celebrated on social media, only to eventually have reality catch up with them?

I’m asking because I’m struggling with a situation involving a fellow nonprofit board member I’ll call Bob.

Bob serves as the treasurer of a community organization. Over the years, I’ve watched him accumulate more and more influence while accountability seemed to disappear. He becomes irate and volatile with anyone who questions him. The finance committee he oversees that once provided oversight no longer exists. Donations are frequently showcased in ways that appear to give personal credit to Bob rather than recognizing the actual donors, volunteers, and organization that actually made them possible.

What makes this especially frustrating is that I believe I’m roughly the 18th board member in a long line of people who have left, resigned, or been pushed out. I recently discovered serious discrepancies in his (mid)management of our board’s money. Thousands missing. Bob had me removed from our board for being accusatory. He also contacted another organization and threatened to pull our organization’s donations to them if they move forward with bringing me on to their board. The organization often talks about “principles over personalities,” which sounds great in theory. In practice, it seems to have created a culture where people “stay in their own lane”, avoid conflict, and remain silent because challenging the status quo comes with consequences.

Meanwhile, Bob continues to thrive.

My own experience has been miserable. Dangerously false statements have been spread about me. Relationships have been damaged. People who associate with me have felt pressure to distance themselves. I’ve watched others experience similar treatment and decide it’s easier to leave than fight.

Everyone tells me to move on. To let it go. To walk away from the chaos.

Part of me agrees.

But another part of me keeps asking a simple question: If not now, when?