Told to reconsider if I’m really a good fit for university

Due to a friendship breakup that impacted me pretty badly and being generally miserable at university the past month and a half, I’ve been in a flare that got worse about a week or two before my exams started. Yesterday, I started experiencing symptoms I haven’t had before and worsening of symptoms I’ve recently been having, and after an online appointment with a GP from home I was advised to call 111 to get an emergency face-to-face appointment at a walk in health centre.

I wasn’t sure if it was really worth that panic and hassle, for all I know it’s just my non-life threatening chronic illness. But the GP’s concerns were about objectively concerning, potentially life-threatening things. I just wasn’t convinced the chance of her concerns being accurate was that high, so I went to see the nurse that works at my college.

The uni I go to is super intense and prestigious. I took a gap year after a levels to try to get my health in order a bit and to take a break before I started. I know things have been bad and I’ve considered dropping out, but I shouldn’t have to give up on an amazing opportunity that I really want to pursue because I’m disabled. There are accommodations that can be made before I make a radical decision like dropping out. My chronically ill mentor has reassured me that I don’t need to drop out just because things are a bit harder for me.

First thing the nurse asks me after I explain the situation is how my revision is going for exams and I’m confused why that’s her first concern but I tell her that it’s obviously not great with the health stuff. Then she asks if I really think this university is the right fit for me, and if I’m in the right place. Huh??? I know the situation isn’t great right now but why are we jumping to that?

Maybe I’m being naive and defensive and denying reality that maybe I shouldn’t be at a uni that’s hard on my health, but there are other disabled people here. There are people who have had to take time out for much more severe situations than mine. And accommodations are made without them being told their health means the uni might not be the right fit. I worked so, so hard to get here despite all my struggles. Am i crazy for being a bit upset? I feel embarrassed for even going to her now. Like I’m just being dramatic and being a terrible student. I feel like shit for even being honest about how hard things are right now. And shit for being upset. Maybe she was just being honest.

On her report she said I looked well but I was very anxious about my symptoms. If I was that anxious I would have been rushing to call 111 instead of thinking things through like I did. I think it was valid to be a bit concerned if a GP tells me they’re concerned about potential agranulocytosis and T1D after I had some weird, freaky symptoms.