What’s a trait you can’t stand in other people? Something that makes you split?

ive noticed most of my splitting episodes on my friends are related to what I perceive as selfishness. I grew up in a household where displaying any kind of desire was marked as selfish, and I would be shamed for it. I was taught to minimize myself and take as little place as possible

now I go crazy lengths for my friends and I get resentful when they don’t do the same for me. suddenly my best friend is selfish and I don’t trust her yada yada.

luckily I don’t split directly at my friends. but my husband gets to see the process in my head and he’s always puzzled by why selfishness bothers me so much, as he expects it from others.

I think he’s right. I want to change. it’s yucky to do good things with the expectation of something in return. I just don’t know how to change my wiring at this point