NT aggression at my missed cues

I continue to cycle between feeling normal to shame, guilt, sadness at this.

So I have been w/ my partner over a decade and when I miss cues (happens frequently) they are sometimes passive aggressive… rude..? Obv. Annoyed with me or mad at me and won’t say it directly.

IDK. Example today: of course I miss a cue or 2 and I’m oblivious to what they are really wanting and as they leave the room they saying out loud “I’m going to headbutt a wall!” And it’s of course at that point I realize I messed up again and missed something.

I guess I could follow after and be like “ohh did you mean x instead of y???” But at the same time I don’t want to because I feel they are being rude acti by that way when I’m obviously misunderstanding or failing their “test” because I perceived y when they wanted or expected x.

How do you handle these situations? I’m just doing nothing and letting it blow over yet again.