I am so tired of pee problems

I am so tired of potty problems. My first kid is 5.5 (A). She had so so so many issues with peeing in the toilet. Trips to the doctor, a pediatric urologist, an ultrasound, OT, lots and lots of MiraLAX. We are finally at the point where her underwear may be a little damp sometimes because she holds it too long and then leaks, but the vast majority of her pee is in the toilet (don’t ask about nighttime).

But now my second child (B) is having pee problems. She is 3.5 and has been working on potty training since she turned 3. I think she is the more typical case where she does well and then the shine wears off or her need for control kicks back in. We had been doing alright last week but now we’re back to a bunch of accidents and resistance.

My problem is I am just so burnt out. I’ve been dealing with pee problems for three years straight. So much laundry and carpet stain remover and everything smelling like pee and being worried every time we are in public or at someone else’s house. Not being able to do drop-off programs - now wondering if my second kid will be able to do summer camp or preschool. I am having a hard time controlling my emotions about it anymore and it’s not helping my kids but I just can’t take it. Why is this so much harder for me than for everyone else I know?