My ex (M23) wants to meet for coffee to apologise and says he wants to get back together, but the relationship was full of red flags. Should I meet him?

I (F26) was the one who ended the relationship because I had completely lost trust in my ex (M23). There were multiple situations involving other women, substance abuse issues, and a level of isolation and anger that made me feel unsafe and disconnected from my own life.

For context, here are some of the things that happened during the relationship:

-He isolated me from friends and family. If I hung out with anyone, he would invite himself or get upset if I did things without him.

-He developed substance issues, especially with weed, and would leave me waiting outside his house for 30–60 minutes while he smoked elsewhere even though he told me he’d be back home. This led to dates I’d planned being cancelled or we’d be late as he would smoke before going in public

-He added a girl on Snapchat during a boys’ trip to Wellington and tried to hide it with a ridiculous excuse and tried to hide the profile from his chat feed but didn’t remove her

-He flirted with girls for free drinks on his boys trip as id made a joke about it and when I was shocked and said could you not tell i was joking as we were laughing about it and he said that he thought i was being serious.

-He never deleted his dating profiles — only the apps — so he could redownload them whenever he wanted with all his matches still there and was still appearing as single.

-He lied to my face for months about where an STD came from when we were on a break, swore it was from a toilet seat and only admitted the truth when my results came back clean.

-His flatmates made comments about him sleeping with someone else, but whenever I asked, he’d tell me “fuck you, you don’t trust me, the relationship is over.”

-When he finally admitted the truth, it was on the same day I found out my granddad had prostate cancer. I told him I needed time to process everything, and the next day he went clubbing and slept with someone else. I still took him back.

-He had serious anger issues. He would rant for hours, get rude to strangers, nearly get into fights in public, and once punched a TV six times in front of me. My friends and family were genuinely worried he would hit me.

-He never reintroduced me to his family after the breakup drama, even though they said they didn’t care. He only told them we were together again when I said we need to break up if he’s going to treat me like a secret.

-He refused to hold my hand in public.

-He constantly made comments about my period, my emotions, and my intimacy struggles. He called me “frigid” even when I cried and asked him to stop.

-He never took me on dates unless I cried or begged.

-He used my car constantly, never offered petrol money, and didn’t pay for the speeding ticket he got while driving it.

-I did everything for him — cleaning, washing, packing his bags, helping him move flats four times because he always fought with his flatmates.

-He would get angry if I wasn’t ready fast enough, or if I didn’t want to do what he wanted.

After the breakup, I went no contact for two months. I was doing well until I slipped and reached out. He left me on read and blocked me. The next day he unblocked me, so I tried again (even called him ) and he ignored everything and blocked me again.

I carried so much guilt because after hearing he slept with someone else a week after we broke up, I made a dating profile out of spite. But I’ve realised that guilt was conditioned. I felt bad for hurting someone who repeatedly hurt me.

Recently, he reached out again asking to meet for coffee. When I said I was busy, he replied:
“Alg, hmu when you want to meet.”

Then he said he wants to apologise in person and that he “wasn’t honest about how he felt” and wants to get back together.

I don’t know what to do.
Part of me wants closure.
Part of me is scared I’ll get pulled back into the cycle.
Part of me is confused as to why I’m still being nice to someone who put me through so much.
Has anyone been through something like this?
Is meeting him for an apology a terrible idea?