Repeatedly elsewhere and here people give this text and think that therefore Christian marriage should be patriarchal. Also many people think that the Catholic Church also teaches that marriage should be patriarchal. - This all is a big mistake. Here is one Catholic theology on how to understand it:

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Question: "*Every time I hear that Scripture verse that says, “Wives, be subject to your husbands,” the hair stands up on the back of my neck. Why should I listen to what the Bible says about marriage when it’s so demeaning toward women?*



*...* Nevertheless, that’s not what the verse means. When we look at this verse in the context of the whole passage (Eph 5:21-33), **the context ﬂips the typical interpretation on its head**. Unfortunately, as soon as people hear this one verse, they tune out the rest of what St. Paul says.  
  
While we must admit that some men throughout history have pointed to this Scripture verse to justify their fallen desire to dominate women, St. Paul is in no way justifying such an attitude. He knows it to be a result of sin (see Gn 3:16), which is why in this passage he’s actually restoring God’s original plan before sin. He does so by pointing out what marriage was all about in the first place. It was meant to foreshadow the marriage of Christ and the Church. St. Paul simply draws out the implications of this analogy.

He starts by calling **both husbands and wives to be subject to one another** ”out of reverence for Christ” (v. 21 ) - out of reverence for the ”great mystery” that spouses participate in by imaging Christ’s union with the Church. In the analogy, the husband represents Christ, and the wife represents the Church. So, he says, as the Church is subject to Christ, so should wives also be subject to their husbands (see v. 24).  
  
Another translation uses the word ”submission.” I like to explain this word as follows. ”Sub” means “under,” and ”mission” means ”to be sent forth with the authority to perform a specific service.” Wives, then, are called to put themselves ”under” the ”mission” of their husbands.  
  
What’s the mission of the husband? ”Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). How did Christ love the Church? He died for her. Christ said he came ”**not to be served but to serve**,” and to lay down his life for his Bride (Mt 20:28).  
  
What, then, does it mean for a wife to ”submit” to her husband? **It means let your husband serve you.** Put yourself under his mission…”

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Christopher West - Good News About Sex & Marriage. (Christopher West holds a Master’s Degree in Theology from the John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage & Family.)

Nihil obstat: Reverend Gerard Beigel, S.T.D., Censor Librorum.  
Imprimatur: Most Reverend Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap.  
Archbishop of Denver, July 28, 2000





Catholic theologian Christopher West explains it (The modern Christian Theology)