I'm so tired..

For the past few years I have been depressed, very typical who cares, and the past months like 8 something months I have started to blame myself for everything my friend doesn't want to go out with me? My fault, my friend doesn't pick up my calls? My fault again, my gf is feeling under the weather? All my fault, and even worse I constantly apologize for everything minor even for things that are not even my fault, I just take as much weight as possible