[4782] Gamma 27 | A man falling apart in a CIA waiting room | Dark Military Thriller | Chapters 1 & 2

^(Content Warning (CW)**: PTSD, violence, language, brief reference to self-harm (fictional))
I'm not a writer. Someone important to me just started writing without formal training or any writing background. I read the first two chapters of their sci-fi story, let's call it Gamma 27, and I think I am seeing serious talent that really needs to be cultivated.

I don't trust my own judgment because I am, very clearly, biased. I care a lot about the author, and that may make me an unreliable person to evaluate it objectively. But I also have read a lot of works from friends and colleagues that write, and none have impressed me the way this has. ( I'm really building this up aren't I.)

So I'm here to request honest critique from people with no stakes. I am asking for those of you that read this to keep in mind some specific things which hopefully will help you to provide a critique if you're just trying to complete your homework — so to speak.

• Where does the story lose/win you?
• What actually is working (or not) and why?
• At what point would you stop have naturally stopped reading — and what would've kept you going?
• What genre would you categorize this as (even if you agree with how I categrorized it) who do you think would like this kind of story? (younger/older audiences, gamers, who knows, just who do you think would like this?)
• Any other points you think I should share with the writer (or notes directed at me as the liaison)

The Story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_ohhpSFVpP14WfmsQLRkXxpND8hMfP-QfSEBKPNg9RA/edit?usp=sharing

My Critiques: [SMAKAPZ Chapter 4], [Turn Me In Your Arms]

To those of you who read this, thank you greatly for giving this your time. Homework or not, I appreciate that you chose this piece and gave it some of your time.