BPD with BPD mom

I just got diagnosed with BPD last summer when I was 21, and during that summer I went to visit my mom and it made me realize I NEVER want to speak to her again.

I have one of those mothers that hate their daughters, she is so abusive and is the main source of my trauma. I stopped talking to her for a year, and before the visit it was 2 years. and throughout my childhood she wasn’t there until i was like 12, and after that she was in and out of my life.

She recently got into a really bad car accident and I cant even get myself to text and ask if shes okay. (I called the hospital to get information so i wouldn't have to speak to her)

Im not even sad about it, I honestly didn't even want to call the hospital but I wanted my grandma to think I care.

Does anybody relate to having parents like this? and if so, how do you stop feeling to guilty about not caring about your own parent.