Upset and confused

Hi,

I just recently had an awkward experience with hubbys family.

MIL has been ranting about me (mainly) and my husband to her siblings.

So recently we were on holiday.. MIL wasn’t there but her brother was and we stayed in the same air bnb.

This is how it went down..

All morning I had focussed on hubby and daughter, making sure they had been fed, ironed their clothes for an event later. I then made lunch for hubby and daughter and the me. I was the last to sit down and eat and I got up at least a few times during me eating to tend to my daughter. Hubby finished eating and got up. He noticed our daughter was shivering and said so but didn’t do anything. She then ran outside and had so sun lotion on her so I quickly ran after her and gave her to my hubby to deal with her as I was still eating.

Hubbys uncle didn’t like that I asked hubby this and he said that my hubby does more than me for our daughter.. and that’s why he doesn’t want another baby because it’s too much for him.. because that’s what my hubby supposedly said to his uncle.

I felt embarrassed but shook it off and went to my room to cry and decompress. His wife comes to check on me and she saw I’d been crying and she went and told her hubby(the uncle)

Uncle comes to apologise to me and the relayed that my MIL (his sister) has been upset, saying that my husband does more and that I should do more and be a traditional wife role. (I work full time as well and manage a lot of the household tasks but MIL doesn’t see this as I don’t report to her lol). She’s also unhappy because I get “defensive” when she says something to me.. but I’m not sure what she’s referring to because I have a right to stick up for myself when I don’t completely agree but will rectify where I need to. Uncle said I needed to stop being sensitive and suck it up..

I genuinely thought mIL and my relationship was getting better but guess not. She also keeps referring to my wedding day which was not a smooth day but was over 4 years ago.

If I was so bad I could hold a grudge against her mistreatment but I don’t and I put things behind me for the sake of my hubby and my daughter.

At this point if she cannot accept me now when will she?

If I can’t be defensive or sensitive then what can I be?

Do they just want me to be passive and live according to them?