How do I avoid Anorexic behaviors sneaking up on me

My anorexia eventually developed into Binge Eating, I have been clean for a week now and managed to loose 6 pounds and still want to loose a 25 more. Think is that I’ve noticed that I became a lot more concussion with my food choices, usually being very hesitant or simply avoiding or denying foods that I think wont fir into my ‘calories’. I get extremely jealous whenever I hear that someone else has gone into a diet and/or has lost more weight than I do which makes me go into extremes like… starve myself. Been trying to eat as little as I could even though Im aware that my goal should be 1500kcal/day to loose weight in a healthy way. Get really freaked out whenever I have to go to a certain event or a restaurant whereas I wont be able to have control or know the ingredients of the stuff that I eat and I genuinely freaked out whenever I realized that my birthday was coming close and I would have to eat a slice of cake one way or another. Because even if I said that I didn’t want to people would assume that I am falling into anorexic behaviors again which I feel like I kinda am but I dont know what to do atp.