Does anyone else look fine on the outside but feel overwhelmed inside?

Over the past year I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety and stress. At one point I lost around 8 kg in just a few weeks. I also have ulcerative colitis, which gets worse when my stress levels increase, so it feels like my mind and body are constantly affecting each other.

Work has become a huge trigger. During one of the worst periods of my mental health, my manager told me that if I didn’t change, it would be my “last opportunity.” Since then, every call, message, or WhatsApp from work makes me feel immediate panic. Cold sweats, racing thoughts, and the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.

I’m currently on sertraline and take alprazolam when needed. I’m on medical leave, but I still feel anxious most of the time. The strange thing is that most people tell me I seem completely fine because I’m usually positive, joking around, and functioning normally.

What really frustrates me is that even when things are calm, my mind seems to go looking for the next thing to worry about. It’s almost like I can’t fully relax because I feel there must be a problem waiting around the corner. I always feel like I need to fix something, and when I solve one issue, my brain immediately moves on to the next one.

Does anyone else feel like they’re falling apart internally while looking perfectly okay on the outside?